Tuesday, March 26, 2013
OOGA BOOGA-Review
By Dail Whiteley
I love redbox. I love going to redbox , love going to its site. A few weeks ago I was going through the coming soon section and I came across a title I had to see. the title Ooga Booga. the story of a wronged man who turns into a voo doo doll and gets revenge.
A guy in a bad pig outfit named hambo , hosts a kids show , gets fired for drinking on the job and he gives a friend of his a statue. its a voo doo doll named Ooga Booga. Before he visited his friend , he was happy because he got a job or something. So he goes to celebrate by going into a convenience store to get a Slurpee and three guys rob the store and shoot the clerk. the guy goes to help the man out and 2 cops come in and accuse him of shooting the clerk and the one cop is racists and shoots the guy , the guy bleeds onto the doll and the Slurpee machine goes bonkers and ta da! the guy comes back as Ooga Booga.
Ooga comes back to his girlfriend and sits on the couch and smokes. We find out that a judge and the bigot cop are framing people and the guys that robbed the store are in with them.
The girlfriend is out walking home when she gets robbed and assaulted buy the three bad guys and she goes home to take a shower and we she her wash off while Ooga is touching himself. Its how this movie is for the first half he's the hero but he sits around and smokes and jerks off while shes in the shower. So she tracks down the bad guys through their landlady. Ooga sees she has sambo dolls , gets upset and pokes the landlady in the eye. He finds a key with the tag : opens every door on it is states and gives it to the girlfriend.
She finds the apt. and she takes them out Bronson style while Ooga drops this big metal pot thing and burns one of them to death.
The bad cop stops by and finds them dead, hes pissed , the judge is pissed.
The bad cop is waiting at the girlfriends apt waiting for them. He hist the girlfriend , Ooga tries to distract him , cop tries to shoot Ooga , Ooga takes him down and stabs him in the ear with his stick.
Now comes the touching scene where it's time for him to go and that she'll miss him.
Ooga goes to see the bad judge and stabs him in the eye. judge dies.
girlfriend comes home and finds a briefcase its full of money. its from hambo. he made a fortune overseas selling his dolls here is some money.
It takes its good sweet time , Its silly , would see it again. 2 1/2 stars.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Graffiti Bridge- Review
By Dail Whiteley.
OK for this week I'm going back , sometimes I will do that. There is a reason why it took me 23 years to see Graffiti Bridge. Its awful. Then why am i writing this?. Because I'm here to tell you how bad it is.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Darkness
This is the reason why I made this blog. For this type of movie. I hope no one ever confuses this as a bad Twilight knock-off because it has zero to do with Twilight as the packaging vaguely wants you to think and as slow and bad as this movie is this is still a better movie.
The movie starts off with a guy walking his dog then shifts to a teenage boy in bed that wakes up from a noise out side. The teen gets up out of bed to see whats going on . He sees a cloud with something that looks like a view master inside the cloud and the street light explodes and the cloud goes away.
Teen wakes up the next morning and runs into the neighbor that was dog walking the night before. They talk and the guy tells the teen nothing to worry about , it was just a wind storm.
Teen delivers papers around a neighborhood that's either in Idaho or Romania and at the end of the film it states that it was co produced in Romania. The teen comes by a old woman and she tells him to stay away from a shinny metal thing he notices. He goes to school and meets up with his friend who is like Evil in the original Fright Night which this movie copy's. Its more Fright Night than Twilight. and we see his science teacher and blah blah blah.
Tt turns out that vampires want to destroy the sun and make the planet total darkness. The head vamp has turned the citizens of this place into vampires , who can walk in the daytime. And will take the town out during the big high school soccer game that they play in the afternoon. And the only one that can save them is the teen and a SEI scientist or something guy who had 2 friends vanish.
It would of been a dumb fun movie had it not been so slow. these type of movies , they shoot these things like in a weeks time and they feel like they last for a month. So 2 stars. Its at Redbox.
The movie starts off with a guy walking his dog then shifts to a teenage boy in bed that wakes up from a noise out side. The teen gets up out of bed to see whats going on . He sees a cloud with something that looks like a view master inside the cloud and the street light explodes and the cloud goes away.
Teen wakes up the next morning and runs into the neighbor that was dog walking the night before. They talk and the guy tells the teen nothing to worry about , it was just a wind storm.
Teen delivers papers around a neighborhood that's either in Idaho or Romania and at the end of the film it states that it was co produced in Romania. The teen comes by a old woman and she tells him to stay away from a shinny metal thing he notices. He goes to school and meets up with his friend who is like Evil in the original Fright Night which this movie copy's. Its more Fright Night than Twilight. and we see his science teacher and blah blah blah.
Tt turns out that vampires want to destroy the sun and make the planet total darkness. The head vamp has turned the citizens of this place into vampires , who can walk in the daytime. And will take the town out during the big high school soccer game that they play in the afternoon. And the only one that can save them is the teen and a SEI scientist or something guy who had 2 friends vanish.
It would of been a dumb fun movie had it not been so slow. these type of movies , they shoot these things like in a weeks time and they feel like they last for a month. So 2 stars. Its at Redbox.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
The Mooring- Review
Ok my first review is The Mooring and it tells the tale of several teenage ladies who use their cell phones and other devices too much and need help and they get guidance counselling from a woman who feels it would be best to send then down on a boat on an Idaho river.
So the movie opens up and we see a family camping on the river and a teenage girl is tired of being around her family and walks a few feet from them she sits on a log with headphones on and gets snatched up by some guy and he drags her to his boat and while he drags her , shes grabbing on to everything she can. he gets her on the boat and puts her in this little hole of a closet. Then it says 10 years later and we see several teenage girls getting into different cars. Apparently , these ladies have been bad with cell phones , bad grades , taunting on Facebook , that kind of stuff and I guess as an agreement on terms , they are going to get help by a kindly lady and her second in command by taking away the ladies electronics and taking them down an Idaho river.
We see the girls as these kinda bratty , a little bit of a pain in the butt kids , then they sail off in a riverboat and during this time we kinda get to know these girls and we see that there just silly kids who don't want to be there. Then the boat starts to have trouble and the head lady decides not to go back but park in the middle of nowhere Idaho.
And right here is where one thinks is this Friday the 13th or Deliverance?. You kind of want it to be the latter but it turns into Friday the 13th without a hockey mask. So the ladies are relaxing on the beach when a motorboat comes riding up and makes waves and settles down the way. The boat starts playing loud rock music for a while , then a woman comes walking over to chat looking like she hasn't bathed in a while , hasn't brushed her teeth either while the guy on the boat is thin and has white well kept teeth even though he's older. You start to think this must be the chick at the beginning of the movie that was locked in the cupboard and while you watch this , I don't know if it was intentional or what . but they kind of focus on her butt , as if see if your locked in a cupboard on a boat , your ass spreads.So she starts to chat with the girls and gives them the creeps then they all go to bed for the night.
The next morning comes and the head counselor decides to take the boat up the river to a guy to check it out. Doesn't want to take anyone , goes down the river. She goes down the river and it goes out. Well the other boat comes by asks if she needs a tow. She's suspicious but goes with it. Next we see the girls out swimming , playing , when the other boat comes up down the way. It's the 2 people with the head counselor all taped up and they toss her in the river. Kids freak out , the boat moves up to them and the girls get the other girls out of the river as they flee into the woods For the next day and a half , a girl gets picked off , one gets their leg in a bear trap , then there's like 6 left including the one with the bad leg. the 2nd in command gets shot in the chest the night before because she doesn't move due to her being in shock.
Oh they do try that night to get on the houseboat but it leads to a wtf moment.
So 5 girls carry the one through the woods. They see that a motorboat is down at the river so they go down this hill and there's a fairly good size cliff they need to get down from the girls know some climbing skills from when they stopped the first time. That goes pretty good until the hicks find them and two fall to their deaths while the woman goes machete on one to two of them as one heads to the boat she finds the boat and sees the bad guys boat and drives to it , gets on it as the man swims to it . Hes very athletic for being a 40 something looking guy. He gets to the boat , grabs the girl and puts her in the cupboard. Shes crying and the woman has a conscience all of a sudden and takes the machete to the bad guy. He bleeds to death , she tells the girl that the boat is hers and takes the motorboat and drives away. If I was that last living girl , I would have said to the woman " yeah that could of happened 2 days ago. Thanks a lot".
That's it 2 stars. its at redbox and netflix streaming if you want to see it or not. Because I watch because you won't. :)
So the movie opens up and we see a family camping on the river and a teenage girl is tired of being around her family and walks a few feet from them she sits on a log with headphones on and gets snatched up by some guy and he drags her to his boat and while he drags her , shes grabbing on to everything she can. he gets her on the boat and puts her in this little hole of a closet. Then it says 10 years later and we see several teenage girls getting into different cars. Apparently , these ladies have been bad with cell phones , bad grades , taunting on Facebook , that kind of stuff and I guess as an agreement on terms , they are going to get help by a kindly lady and her second in command by taking away the ladies electronics and taking them down an Idaho river.
We see the girls as these kinda bratty , a little bit of a pain in the butt kids , then they sail off in a riverboat and during this time we kinda get to know these girls and we see that there just silly kids who don't want to be there. Then the boat starts to have trouble and the head lady decides not to go back but park in the middle of nowhere Idaho.
And right here is where one thinks is this Friday the 13th or Deliverance?. You kind of want it to be the latter but it turns into Friday the 13th without a hockey mask. So the ladies are relaxing on the beach when a motorboat comes riding up and makes waves and settles down the way. The boat starts playing loud rock music for a while , then a woman comes walking over to chat looking like she hasn't bathed in a while , hasn't brushed her teeth either while the guy on the boat is thin and has white well kept teeth even though he's older. You start to think this must be the chick at the beginning of the movie that was locked in the cupboard and while you watch this , I don't know if it was intentional or what . but they kind of focus on her butt , as if see if your locked in a cupboard on a boat , your ass spreads.So she starts to chat with the girls and gives them the creeps then they all go to bed for the night.
The next morning comes and the head counselor decides to take the boat up the river to a guy to check it out. Doesn't want to take anyone , goes down the river. She goes down the river and it goes out. Well the other boat comes by asks if she needs a tow. She's suspicious but goes with it. Next we see the girls out swimming , playing , when the other boat comes up down the way. It's the 2 people with the head counselor all taped up and they toss her in the river. Kids freak out , the boat moves up to them and the girls get the other girls out of the river as they flee into the woods For the next day and a half , a girl gets picked off , one gets their leg in a bear trap , then there's like 6 left including the one with the bad leg. the 2nd in command gets shot in the chest the night before because she doesn't move due to her being in shock.
Oh they do try that night to get on the houseboat but it leads to a wtf moment.
So 5 girls carry the one through the woods. They see that a motorboat is down at the river so they go down this hill and there's a fairly good size cliff they need to get down from the girls know some climbing skills from when they stopped the first time. That goes pretty good until the hicks find them and two fall to their deaths while the woman goes machete on one to two of them as one heads to the boat she finds the boat and sees the bad guys boat and drives to it , gets on it as the man swims to it . Hes very athletic for being a 40 something looking guy. He gets to the boat , grabs the girl and puts her in the cupboard. Shes crying and the woman has a conscience all of a sudden and takes the machete to the bad guy. He bleeds to death , she tells the girl that the boat is hers and takes the motorboat and drives away. If I was that last living girl , I would have said to the woman " yeah that could of happened 2 days ago. Thanks a lot".
That's it 2 stars. its at redbox and netflix streaming if you want to see it or not. Because I watch because you won't. :)
Hello :)
Ok , this is my first post. What I want to do here is not to tell you whats good or bad about a movie , but how the movie plays out. Most movies I love watching , are some obscure b-movie , no ones heard of and that no one will go out of their way to see and I love to tell people who would never watch this type of movie , what its about. So if i make it a little bit more entertaining for ya , the better. Also i will give some criticism about the movie , but not to put the movie down. There will be spoilers throughout the review. Enjoy. :). -
Dail Whiteley.
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